I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
