No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
