these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
