we're blogging at a bar
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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