Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
