Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
