Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
one might say we're banned from that church
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
