We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
