Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
