Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
