Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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