took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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