so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
