ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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