i need an iv and a liver transplant
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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