I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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