Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
