Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize