Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I would fuck him just for his dog
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