Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
