her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
my poor anus
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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