shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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