You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
