so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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