when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She even gives head with a lisp.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
