we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
tonight lets celebrate not being married
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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