I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
