MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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