Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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