She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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