I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
