i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
