just survived the first fart of the relationship.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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