If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
