Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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