Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
