remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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