my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'm always down for nudity.
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