:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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