The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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