meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
