I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
