summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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