I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
