Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
