I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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