I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
