he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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