He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The struggles of a small town man whore
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
