People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
