So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
