so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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