He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
