Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
It's just like the Real World with babies
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
