so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize