you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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