I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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