My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
