I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
