I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I didn't notice because vodka
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
