you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Randomize